I posed the Biggest Loser-style challenge to Lacy last night, and no surprise here, she accepted the challenge! We stepped on the scale for “fun” last night – I put that in quotes that because right now, the number on the scale is anything but fun – and we’re actually pretty damn close. We’re within about 5 pounds of one another, so it’s going to be a fairly level playing field in that respect. She’s going down! Literally…and figuratively!
Our competitiveness got a kick start last night when she was poking fun at me for being pretty flexible for a fluffy chick. (What? You can’t put your toes in your ears? I can!) I asked her to try, and she couldn’t even get close. I laughed, and told her I’d be her slave for 10 minutes if she could sit on the floor, legs in a “V” and touch her forehead to the ground for 5 seconds. Once again, not even close! I was victorious! I was basking in the afterglow until she challenged me double or nothing to a last man standing wall sit. Lacy was a powerlifter in high school and has told me stories about doing wall sits for endless amounts of time… intimidated as I was, it was game on! I could feel the burn but I wasn’t giving up. Finally she said, “Oh shit, I’m going to lose, I can’t do this!” And about 15 seconds later she sank to the floor. VICTORY was mine!
I’m feeling pretty good, pretty confident with these minor victories behind me. I’m also really out of shape and totally paying for it today. Walking down the stairs was killer this morning! Pushing in my clutch in traffic today almost brought tears to my eyes. It’s a sad state of existence, but just wait… Just give me a few months and it will be a whole nother story! On the other hand, at least I know I have muscles somewhere under that layer of fluff because they are definitely letting themselves be known today! Owww-ie!
On the left hand side of my page you’ll see I added a little feature called “Winnie Says…” and you’re probably like, “who the F is Winnie and what’s she got to say?” Well, Winnie is my “care manager”. That’s such an ugly term, makes me feel like I need a helmet and to get on the shortbus… Anyway, it’s not a big secret that I struggle with depression and anxiety. Winnie is part of a program (DIAMOND) through my doctor’s office that supplements my medical care and depression meds by being an intermediary between my doctor and I, and she has a consulting psychiatrist she works with as well, and it just helps keep my depression in check, my meds at the right dosages and helps me set goals to over come the areas I feel really overwhelmed in at the moment. I talk to her via telephone on Thursday mornings. I have turned down this program for years, but finally decided to give it a whirl, because, what’s the use of looking great on the outside if you’re still a mess on the inside?
I frankly think some of it’s hokey. Her stupid questionnaire I have to answer every time we talk is the most ridiculous thing. “How many days last week did you have a poor appetite or overeat?” Well, duh, all of them, I’m a fat girl! I ate more than my fair share every day, bitch! I think that some of her “goals” and ideas for me to do are plain old stupid and it makes me feel like I’m six again, but I’ve decided that I’m going to give this a go – I want to be well all the way around, she is a “professional” and my insurance is padding her pockets nicely, so we’ll see. I’m only two weeks into it. In six months if I think the DIAMOND program is a waste of my time and she’s full of poo, I can quit and no harm, no foul. Right? Right.
So that little box over there is full of her weekly suggestions for me. No matter how hokey and ridiculously stupid I think they are, I’m gonna put them out there and at least give it a more-than-half-hearted attempt at reaching those “goals” in addition to the ones I set for myself above.
I’m beginning to wean myself off of caffeine. This should be a trip. A regular old riot and a half. I’ve had one Low Carb Monster this morning. I’m on my first huge glass of water (I’m gonna pee a lot), and I’m going to try really, really, really hard to not have any soda or any more caffeine today. I have a feeling I might have to give in and have a Diet Coke around dinner time because of the headache I will probably get, but this weekend I’m fully preparing myself mentally to go through caffeine withdrawal and just get it over with.
Wish me luck!
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